Has a rhythm that reminds me of songs from "The Nightmare Before Christmas." Not a bad thing at all. The only slightly awkward bit is:

But I’ll be refusing
Your patent abusing,


Only metrically. I like the rhymes. I don't see much to fix it, but eh. It's not a horrible error.



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Didn't you hear? My cutting off your head is extremely in fashion right now.

Thank you.

Looks like you had fun with this one that's cool. Especially the last line, its very "poet and i know it" kinda rhyme lol, have to be in the right mood for it! Luckily i am.

Personally I find it hard to get my head to think in the rhythm of it, but i'm sure you get used to it. That wasn't a criticism btw, it was just a comment! Sorry I'm not being constructive, it's good!

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...By this sence of pain, man deduces he is alive... - Franze Kafka 'The Trial'

Everything public is formal

Very enjoyable...except for the "sick and tired" part...that is possibly the most overused line there is.

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((Silence))

Possibly, but this wasn't meant to be the best poem ever. Thanks for your input- there's a good chance I'll end up editing.

It's okay- I owe you both comments and critiques enough!

I actually considered the poet/know it/show it thing, but I wanted the end to be less predictable. And I have my own rhythm problems with it... "But, oh muse, YOU’RE FIRED," makes sense only if read u//u// (u = unstressed syllable, / = stressed syllable) and that doesn't necessary follow rhythmically from the line before.

So yeah, getting input. Thanks.

get it hell, honey

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"I have only three things to teach: simplicity, patience, and compassion. These three are your greatest treasures." - Lao Tzu

Love it *laugh* I think we've all felt this way *giggle*

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****** Li *******

**** *Oogway: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present. "***

The first two stanzas are completely delightful. There's nothing about them that seems forced or akward, and they really get their message across. The rest of the poem seems a little forced.. but I like it enough to fav it. Great work. I know exactly what you're talking about...
My muse hasn't come in the middle of the night recently, but I've been awake well into the night before. What I always hate is the fact that if I don't write down the line that's pounding though my mind, I won't be able to sleep. And the moment I write it down, and get back in bed, another line comes... it's almost comical, except I'm so tired I can't laugh. I can't say I've regreted my "lucabrations" though...

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~PenWieldingPoets A club for POETS THAT USE METER, or would like to learn.

Draw me a sheep

I can't think of a damned thing to say, but suffice to say that I really enjoyed this, and that it's a treat to read aloud. I have to (respectfully) disagree with *TheNathanator concerning the 'forced' nature of the last two stanzas - indeed, the last is my personal favourite. And, hell, this thing is so full of puns it's impossible for me not to like it really.

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-StationToStation-